Good for the mood

Cougar Community The Garage
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At an international cattlemen event in Australia, one local man befriended a man from Texas. He proceeded to invite him home, to show him his domain.

Once arrived, he boasted owning 75,000 acres, to which the Texan answered that he had given that much land away last year for his nephew’s wedding gift.

He then said he owned 50,000 cattle, to which the Texan answered he had lost that many at last year’s roundup.

Being a bit deflated about it all, he noticed a kangaroo hopping on down their way. As the beastie passed them, the Texan jumped and asked what the heck that was.

With a gleam in his eye, the Australian said: <<Why… don’t you guys have any grasshoppers over there, in Texas?>>.

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Now that’s funny, I don’t care who you are. If this were one particular other Board; I’d be popping up some popcorn in preparation for good show as Leon and Shane discuss this.

3

Done.

4

In WW1, a lot of the fighting was done from trenches on both sides.

At a French/German border, one French soldier got an idea, and asked his buddy if he knew a common German first name. The man supplied ‘‘Gunther’’.

Our sneaky frenchman set up, and screamed:‘’ Gunther?‘’ to which someone accross the line stood up and answered: ‘‘Ja?’’. He just shot him, moved 100 feet down the line, and repeated the process. This was really successful in thinning out the enemy line.

On the German side, One man heard our hero coming down the line, and prepared himself to reciprocate. Asking his trench neighbor what first name was really common for french people, he got ‘‘Pierre’’. As the sniper came even, before he could call out, our German beat him to it and Screamed: ‘’ Pierre?‘’

Our French hero froze, thought ‘‘merde’’, and asked:‘‘Is that you, Gunther?’’

‘‘JA?’’

POW!

5

Helen meets one of her good old classmates at a 25th anniversary high school class reunion.

After the good old hugs, the questions start.

When asked where she lives now, the friend answers that she moves around a lot, what with a house in New York, a villa in Saint-Tropez, and a manor in England.

Helen says :“really? You don’t say… well, I’m still in the same small town”.

When asked about how her education went, her friend answered how she paced herself, and got a doctorate in her field, and is very satisfied.

Heken says: "really? You don’t say…? Well, I was pregnant in my last year of high school, so I had to forget university, and somehow managed to have 5 more children as the years went by. Never could resume my studies’’.

When asked if she was married, her friend answered how she waited for mister perfect, and finally was rewarded. He also is one of Europe’s richest men.

Helen says: “Really? You don’t say…”

Her friend asks what she does as a hobby, to which Helen says:’ Well, I don’t have any time for a hobby, but my husband feels I have e very nasty way of telling people off, so I have to go to a special deportment class.’’

“oh really? What do they teach you in deportment class?”

“Well, for example, instead of saying something like “go to hell, B!TCH” they teach you to say:”’really? You don’t say…"