I get about a dozen or so calls every day from ever conceivable sort of criminal. In particular I despise the robo calls with voice recognition. If you say are you a robot they will answer back that they are real. So I either say something like “do you have banana squirrel apocalyptic herpes?” or just ask “what day is it?” The voice recognition will typically freeze for a good thirty seconds, maybe longer, I don’t know I have hung up by then.
So in the midst of answering all those crap calls. I got an email from an old friend, when was the last time you got one of these?
Partnership Request
Sir,
I am Charles Gulak,a consultant and of African descent but based here in the U.S.A.I am contacting you after painstaking searching excercise to confirm that you have the reputation and capacity to handle the task ahead.
We are in search of a reputable person or company to do a partnership with.I am currently working for a government official who is a former Minister of Petroleum Resources in one of the biggest oil producing countries in the world.Unfortunately the country’s refiniries are not working so they depend very much on imported refined products.These products usually come in numerous very big vessels and the country does not have deep ports to berth such vessels in their country.Inevitably,they use smaller vessels to transfer the products from the mother- vessel from the high sea to their ports enroute Tank farms for distribution.
Now,here is the area of partnership.The ministry pays so much for the transhipment of these products hence the minister desires to get involved in a private capacity by proxy.Your role here will be to Incorporate a company and Register same with the ministry in accordance with the laid down rules of foreign companies engaging in commercial activities in their country.Once that is done,the minister will provide the necessary fund required to procure medium size vessels (7-10) in your company’s name for the contract.
However,we are proposing a 20% commission for you from what is accumulated as profit.The anticipated monthly profit accumulation is in the region of usd 10-15m.
Really? Are you on the do not call list? Land line? I get the one about “we have important information about your credit card” but none of the crooked calls.
I get fake IRS, fake lawsuit, card services, free health insurance, resort awards center, and a number of AC service and other BS that are all robo callers. Two land lines plus a cell phone, all on DNC list. Then I get the fake Microsoft, fake free back support / knee brace, and cleaning service (shiny bright?) humans. Every single one a criminal.
If I’m not real busy I like to play along and see how long I can keep them from calling someone else.
My best is the confused old man with too many credit cards, but my barely intelligible Spanglish is pretty good too.
My favorite is ‘Joe’ the half in the bag welfare voter that wants all the free stuff he’s entitled to. Unfortunately most folks aren’t interested in stealing old Joe’s info.
When you answer the phone and there’s about 3 seconds of silence you can bet it’s a robo call or a solicitous call with a human on the other end. A turd called me the other day and even asked for my SSN right up front.
If it’s a human calling I cuss these people out up one side and down the other because that’s exactly what they deserve. They’re losers working from a phone bank overseas. They’re dirty, never bathe, just got out of jail or rehab.It’s the same during election time.
The DoNotCall list? Never worked for our cell phones or land line.
I put my number on the so called No Call list. But the robo callers don’t care. I get just about every thing. But have not gotten the “Nigerian Scam” email for a long time. In about 2005 I got one when I put my 64 Fairlane Sport Coupe up for sale on a Fairlane site. I got them to send me a check that was big time bogus. It had instructions to cash it and send them the overage by Western Union I did not cash it I gave it to the county sheriff’s internet crime office and waited a couple weeks before returning a email. I had received a bunch from them wanting to know where the money was. When I did reply I told them I had cashed the check and taken all the money and gone to Cabo. I thanked him for the good time. This troll kept bugging me so share the money with him. What a good time it was. I only wish the cops could have gotten him.
My favorite one is when the caller asks for my wife, I ask to take a message. They usually ask when she’ll be back. I tell them I don’t know but if they manage to track her down, I want my truck (dog, rifle, etc.) back.
If it is a landline (I used with my VoIP line) use nomorobo. It worked great. Not so good with cell phones however. I no longer have a hard line, cell only and I block everything not identified or known direct from my cell phone.
My Wife and I receive SCAM calls to our cell phones on average of a least (1) per day. Most are robo calls offering lower interest rates for current credit card balances. The really shady trend of recent incoming SCAM calls are the phone numbers. The ID display will show a local number and sometimes even ring in as a local business… as if the number has been cloned or something. Last month I received an incoming call from our local Fire Department. Knowing several of our Fireman, I just figured one of them was calling from the station phone. Nope…robo call for lowering the credit card rate.
A few days back, I had a recorded VM from another local number. The mssg stated that legal proceedings were underway to prosecute me for traffic violations in another state. And, to counteract, I needed to immediately call X phone number (not the same number on the ID display). So, I made a stop at our Police station on the way home from work, and asked one of the Officers to have a listen. He just smiled and said, “SCAM…trying to get credit card information to hijack the account.”
Guess we just have to be aware, and keep a few steps ahead of the con games.
Love that message. If a school did that here they would fire the entire staff.
The text messages and robo calls suck, looking for that 1 idiot in a thousand to call them back. I Just delete them.
I love it when I get the actual scam phone calls. I try to keep them on the phone as long as possible because I figure if they’re not making any money off the call and just wasting their time maybe they’ll stop calling people. obviously they do this because somehow they get one person out of a hundred to give them the information they want. So I don’t just hang up, I waste their time as much as I can and make them hang up on me. When they call my wife and kids just say. Hang on you need to talk to my dad. Fun for the whole family.
I especially love these guys who call and tell me there’s a virus on my computer and they’re calling from Microsoft to help if only I’d give them remote access. I spent 30 years running Maintenance departments in the largest Nuclear station in North America and started programming in Fortran before Bill evented MSDOS. So I know a little about computers. I drag them along as long as I can making them think I’m actually following their instructions like an idiot. Of course my computer crashes and has to restart a few times during the process cause i just can’t get it right, and just when they finally think they’ve talked me into giving them access i tell them to piss off.
I’ve actually had them swear at me and threaten my family from a foreign country they get so mad after I wasting 30 minutes and they realise they got nothing. Makes my day.
The latest one here is
" I’m calling on a secure (or recorded) line concerning the hearing with the "insert something like Home owners association, unemployment insurance, your recent job dismissal… then they say “Can you hear me?”
I of course respond “NO” …
So they start all over again “I’m calling on a secure (or recorded) line concerning …” and ask again can you hear me?
I say again …No…
only one person started to repeat for the 3rd time… others just hang up!!!