Hey DD Im not sure but if you want to post em go ahead!
Here at our production plant the machine operators need to waste time travelling back and forth to the supply room for various supplies, which wastes precious production time. Someone thought it would be more cost effective to hire a person to do the supply run for the operators. When the job was publicly posted an asian chap showed up very enthusiastic about the job and said he would be very good with “supplies” The boss hired “Wong” The first day was going well until midday, The boss came out of the office to see all the machine off. He started ranting about the lost production and what “what the hell is the issue”. One of the operators spoke up and said " Wong didnt show up with the supplies so they could not continue. The boss asked where was Wong–no one knew. The boss yelled out " Wong, where the hell are ya!!" out of the corner jumped Wong-----(add asian accent now)"SUPPLIES 
LMAO…I’m thinking his full name was “Sum Ting Wong”…
My brother in law told a variation on that same joke at my birthday party a couple months ago. The thing that made it super awesome is the fact that he’s of Korean lineage. Born in the USA, just as American as any of us. But him being “Korean” and telling that joke, I just thought it was awesome.
you know working for a Japenese/American co… thats hysterical!!!
It ranks up there when one of the guys says that hes going to Wok his dog after work. 
Reminds me of that joke with the punchline “fluctuations”.
how a fella named Foog Yu .
Mother Superior: “Welcome to the Convent of Silence, Sister Mary Katherine. You are welcome to stay here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct yo to do so.”
Five years pass.
Mother Superior: “You have remained silent for five years. You may speak two words.”
Sister Mary Katherine: “Hard bed.”
Mother Superior: “I’m sorry to hear that. We will get you a better bed.”
Five more years pass.
Mother Superior: “You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.”
Sister Mary Katherine: “Cold food.”
Mother Superior: “I am quite sorry. We will instruct the cook to ensure your food is warmer in the future.”
Five years later. . .
Mother Superior: “You may say two words only today.”
Sister Mary Katherine: “I quit.”
Mother Superior: “It’s probably for the best. You’ve done nothing but bitch since you got here.”
One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus.
The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you…”
Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.
The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.
Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!”
The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity.
The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surprise, its me the Hippie!”
The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says “Surprise, its me the bus driver!”
Hippie jokes. Heh.
What did the guy at the Grateful Dead concert say when he ran out of weed?
“dude, these guys suck!”
A hippie finds a lamp in the park, rubs it and a gennie pops out. “OK hippie, you get three wishes”…
Hippie=I want a six inch joint
Poof! A six inch joint appears and they smoke it… “And your second wish?”
Hippie=I want a 12 inch joint!
Poof! A 12 inch joint appears and they smoke it. “And your third wish?”
Hippie=I want a 24 inch joint!
Poof! A huge 24 inch joint appears and they smoke it…
Gennie=Well, I guess I need to go now… (Gets up to leave), “OK, one more wish!”
What’s red and orange and looks good on a hippie?
Fire!
Here is an old one I heard a long time ago. If anyone is Polish or German, don’t be offended, please. Im polish back ground so that covers half of it.
A polack gets a letter in the mail, He is being drafted to war. So he goes to the draft office and gets in line where there handing out guns and when they get to him, they have run out of guns. So the guy across the counter hands him a broom and says, when you want to shoot, just say Bangady bang bang!. He asks the man are you sure this is going to work, the man on the other side of the desk say, It woks all the time! Next he gets in line where there handing out bayonets and when they get to him, they run out of bayonets as well. So the guy on the other side of the desk tapes a pencil to the end of the broom and says, when you want to stab someone, just say Stabady stab stab! The Polack says, are you sure this will work and the man on the other side of the desk says, It works all the time! So he goes on his way and out on the battle field he starts saying Bangady bang bang, Stabady stab stab! and he is amazed that they are falling all over the place. He is thinking, this is great! Then he sees this big German guy coming over the hill and he starts all over again, Bangady bang bang Stababy stab stab and he isn’t falling down. He tries again and again, Bangady Bang Bang, Stababy Stab Stab!! till the Big German guy runs right over him saying Tankady tank tank Tankady tank tank!!
Good one!
Here’s one stolen from the mustang sight:
Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can’t see each other signing, or read lips
After several nights of fumbling around and many
misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution.
She writes :
‘Honey, why don’t we agree on some simple signals ? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time.
If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my
right breast two times.’
The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time.
If she doesn’t want to have sex, pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times.
A Canadian and an American were hunting in the Canadian woods when a Mexican runs across the field and the Canadian shoots him in the back and kills him.
“You can’t do that!” cried the American.
“No, no, it’s legal here in Canada” replies the Canadian.
Later that night the American goes and buys some beer and puts it on the roof of his truck to open the door. Just then a Mexican runs by, grabs the beer, and runs away. The American thinks “No problem” and he shoots him in the back and kills him.
As he is recovering his beer the police come and arrest him.
“But I thought it was legal to shoot Mexicans here in Canada!” protests the American.
“Well yeah,” says the cop, “but you can’t use bait.”
Excellent, gracias
The sex between the wife and me had been a bit unsatisfying of late,
so she told me, “Go to the pharmacy and get some of those pills that
will help you to get an erection.”
You can imagine her reaction when I came back from the drug store and
tossed her the diet pills!
… I’m just going to repeat one - I’m stealing it from another site/poster!
"So one day, after being told that “WE don’t do things together anymore, Honey”; I ended up going grocery shopping with my wife. Yeah guys, admit it; you’ve been there before, too!
"Anyways, we’re walking down the aisle and I see this FANTASTIC deal on MY FAVORITE beer, A FULL CASE FOR ONLY TEN BUCKS!!! Being a thoughtful husband -I thought- I only put one case in the cart. My wife FREAKED! ‘You don’t NEED that much beer, you’ll only drink it up in one night! Besides, we can’t afford it!’ And she put my beer back on the shelf!
"So we’re still walking down the aisles, and she grabs this $24 bottle of some fancy Fench face-cream! Seeing my chance, I quickly respond with ‘Honey! We can’t afford that!’ ‘Oh but Dear, don’t you see? I NEED this face cream so I can be more beautiful for you!’
“” 'But Honey… that case of beer would have done the same thing for less than half-price!!!’
“She doesn’t complain about us not going shopping together any more” 
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
There once was a woman who was quite begat.
She had three babies named Nat, Pat, and Tat.
She said it was fun in the breeding,
but found it was hell in the feeding,
when she saw there was no tit for Tat.